Take Your Dog to Work Day. An Interview with Zelda.

Zelda is a longtime employee and veteran office dog at Laika Communications. We interviewed her about the new "Take Your Dog to Work Day" trend. 

Zelda: Wait a minute...longtime? Veteran? Excuse me? I'm a young hopper and I don't like to be called a "veteran"! My official title is VP of Happiness! Do you have any idea what kind of hurdles a poodle needs to overcome to get to where I’m at?

Laika: Of course…my apologies!! Thank you for making the time to talk to us. We know you are in high demand. The work of office dogs is complex and yet often not properly recognized. A common example is the precautionary burglar alarm or bark-bark, which (wrongfully!) is constantly ignored and hardly ever honored. Does Laika offer good and appreciative office dog working conditions?

Zelda: The working conditions here are actually scandalous - what this team deems to be a sufficient amount of petting and feeding sessions, cries for an intervention of the Dog Union. One sleeps in one morning, JUST ONE MORNING, while a professional thief breaks in and steals the coffee machine and no one takes you seriously anymore. I’m THE VP of Happiness! An important role that is still massively underappreciated by my two-legged colleagues. I mean, happiness doesn’t just happen, does it!?

Laika: You have been with Laika Communications since day one. A lot has changed in the company since then. Is the company on a good path?

Zelda: If you measure it by the number of two legged creatures coming in on a daily basis, we seem to have grown as a pack. But I gotta complain about the serious lack of furry fellows who support me in my important endeavor. I am a born leader - when will my four-legged team arrive for me to manage? I urgently need support from real experts with real teeth! If you know what I mean!? Oh and the two-legged ones seem to be looking for more of their own kind for support. There’s lots to get done, they say. If you ask me - no idea what the fuzz is all about. This job is as easy as they come. A strategically lifted paw here and there and the human does what you want. Entertaining customers? Easy! Just go through the bags of the two-legged ones, redistribute the content carefully within the office space aaaaand voila! Everybody is shouting in cheer! And if you feel like the old trick just isn’t cutting it anymore, just hire a temping puppy that lifts its little leg on the carpet during a meeting - that always gets everyone going!

Laika: The "Take Your Dog to Work Day" is often criticized by dog unions, as addressing the owners is a way of suppressing the free decision of the dogs and thus "manifests the hierarchical subordination and the alleged one-sided dependence". Do you share this view?

Zelda: Media presents the whole thing in a completely wrong way. Actually, it should be called "Tear the lazy sock to work day". Because let's be honest: How else do two-legged friends get out of the house if they are not forced to? Right now they're all doing "home office" - "home... what?" That doesn't happen under my rule! I actually use my human as a kind of Uber - with a first class seat on what they call a bicycle. I'd call it a hamster wheel, which is similar to what they do every day, if you ask me.

Laika: This week the dog union has also written a counter-proposal, the "Let Your Owner Just Don't Go To Work And Go With Her To The Park Day" (LYOJDGTWAGWHTTPD-working paper). Do you support the initiative?

Zelda: This is certainly a great achievement for the lapdogs among us. But as I said - I don't need such petty support. After all, I am named after a princess! And that’s my true calling. My personal bike chauffeur drives me to the dog park every day on my way to work and the office is my personal amusement park. Oops - duty calls! squirrel!

Laika: Thank you very much for the interview!